Thursday, May 19, 2011

lemme dust off the cobwebs!

i can't believe it's been so long since i've posted. maybe it's been because i've been far too busy. maybe it's been because winter did a doozy on my mood or maybe it's because i can't seem to figure out where life is going these days!

not sure which but i do know that three jobs (two now...that was not planned) is definitely one way to fill time. why is it that it's so difficult to find a job these days that actually pays decent money, has benefits and treats me like a human being? i didn't spend all that time in college working my butt off to learn how to make cones at dairy queen...seriously (nothing against dairy queen or people who work there but they rubbed me the wrong way this week).

life has been picking up speed and then dropping down to a lull for quite a while. to say it's like a roller-coaster ride isn't too far from the truth. to add to the joys of this insane life of stretching $20 for a week, i'm moving into a new apartment at the end of the month. it's some exciting stuff! 300 more sq. ft. than my current apartment for very little extra money so i'm very happy! it's interesting to note that this is the first time in my adult life that i haven't had my family help me move. of course ryan and his family and my friends are volunteering to help and i hope that it goes smoothly, but there is just something heart-breakingly homesick about not having my mom and dad around to help me move. i don't know if i'll be able to make it through the traditional first-meal-in-the-new-digs of take-out chinese without tearing up a bit.

i'm not saying i want to move back to memphis. nothing wrong with that city but it's not the place for me at this point in my life but i do wish my family lived close by. i miss those friday nights when i could just call up my folks, throw on some sweats and head over for a backyard bonfire. those nights were good for this introverted soul of mine. i look forward to maybe living in the same city as them again someday.

eh, i just feel a little jostled around and kicked in the stomach lately. and yes, i know it will get better and yes, i have trusted God with this. but i have also talked to God about how the past few years have felt a little rough and would he please quit thinking i'm so strong? he knows, it's all good. he's big enough for me to be occasionally mad at him.

speaking of which, i think ryan and i finally found a church that we are starting to feel comfortable in. for as many years as i have worked in ministry it's a strange thing to be hunting for a church from this perspective! it's a cool little community. full of artists and environmentalists...when i finally have enough money i can even subscribe to a CSA (community supported agriculture) program through the church which would provide me with organic veggies every week. sounds pretty awesome to me. we're still playing it a tad shy with the church for now. i've got some wounds there that i hope will heal with time. i just have to remember that it's a community of broken people and that broken people hurt each other sometimes.

well - hope the update post wasn't terribly boring. i'll try to be around more often. once the move is over i will have more space in which to craft again! i am even going to attempt to make some pillows and possibly a quilt coming up soon. we shall see! anyways - have a good one.