Tuesday, October 19, 2010

one year later - the aftermath

so, it's been a year since i "dramastically" changed my life. after years of being in a frustrating relationship i decided that it was time for a change. i also decided that that change would be a good time to shake the rest of my life up. i've definitely always went with the thought process that while you're making a giant change why not make the other ones you've wanted to at the same time? that way you adjust all at once and never say that you're bored. so, yeah...this is how that's gone for me:

it's been painful. but i knew it would be. but, i've grown more in this last year than i have in the past ten, so it's been amazing. i've found myself completely broke and broken, sobbing myself to sleep many, many nights but i've learned that i'm so much stronger than i thought i could ever be. granted, i didn't want to find this out about myself but whaddya gonna do???

i've found that from this distance from my family and friends who i've always relied on, i miss them more, i value them more and i know which ones are the true friends. that part kinda sucked, losing people you thought were there for good. but i've also learned to think for myself more. i know that the people i love always have my "best interests" in mind when they give me opinions or advice but i've learned that only i can decide what my "best interests" really are. so, i feel like now, staring down the gun to 30 years old, i've learned to discern between what i "want" and what i "need" and what my decisions are. it's pretty great. although, i do miss my friends and family, sometimes i feel very lonely up here but it's getting better!

i've worked for three different places since moving here in march - interned at one and am still searching. currently i'm working for two of the three places and while the money is nice, the hours are starting to wear me out. if i could just get one day off a week that would be amazing! i feel like a chicken running around without the benefit of ever having a head!

my dog lives up here now, sadly not with me yet. my apartment won't let me have a dog that is over 40 lbs and i just don't think that i should put my 60 lb dog on a diet and shave all of his fur off...although the fur would be about 5lbs i think! but i have a cat - a crotchety cat, who belongs to this boyfriend guy that i have :D but, the mutt lives with friends until my lease is up next may.

the boyfriend guy :D :D :D is awesome. i am so blessed and lucky to have found someone who really gets me. it's one of the healthiest relationships i've ever had, makes me feel so grown up...except when pillow fights ensue.

music and art are still my loves but i just barely have time to do laundry these days and keep my 520 sq ft apartment clean so my loves get a little backburner action sometimes. i still sketch, play my guitar some and write down random lyrics that pop in but i haven't played out anywhere or done serious writing since i got here. all in due time, i guess.

so, that's a semi-short run-down of life after the giant changes. i wish my ex the best of luck and hope that he's ok. life just sucks sometimes but if you aren't true to yourself you're really short-changing everyone around you. alright, time for job number 2! live life the best way you can!



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